Bye-Bye Mr. Jerk
by Sparkles
Summary: Shippers beware! Doggett and Scully are together...


Title: Bye-Bye Mr. Jerk (If you can think of a better title, please email me at Starbuck_emily@yahoo.com. Thanks!)  
Author: Sparkles*  
Rating: G  
Spoilers: We've already met Doggett.  
Datestamp: sometime in December?  
Disclaimer: What's in a name? That which we call a rose, By any other name would smell as sweet. (Romeo and Juliet, act two, scene two, lines 46-47) Okay, okay! NOT mine. Except for Russian Meanie and Special Agent Jessica Neiler. Happy? : ) Oh yeah, the jokes belong to Grace and Starbuck23, thanks peeps!  
Note: I have problems, as some of you may tell. I wrote this right after the beginning of season eight, and I did/do not have a good opinion of Doggett. I do however think Krycek is quite a character, and so I tend to write him into my stories, so that's why he's in this one. Christy chica, some parts in this are for you. I know you miss Mulder. This is my first fic for a long time, after I deleted all of the previous ones. I would really appreciate feedback, and if you are a fan of MSR, just pretend that you never read this fic. Personally, I am a shipper myself, but I felt like being insane one evening... long story cut short, this is what happened.   
p.s. About the title? Don't even bother asking.  
  
Bye-Bye Mr. Jerk  
  
Part One: The Call (no infringement of the Backstreet Boys' song intended)  
  
Scully was bored. It was a Saturday evening, and there was no one around.   
  
She knew that she could have better, that she could be happily married, have kids, and be a family practitioner on the side. She could be living the easy life, and she could be enjoying it. Or could she?  
  
She knew that her life had changed so much since she had joined the FBI. Ever since she had met Mulder, she had done things she never would have dreamed of. Of course there were always the unpleasant occurrences, but there were some extremely likable occurrences too.  
  
She missed all of it.  
  
Every single bit. From Mulder's pencils that were stuck in the ceiling to the unforgiving way that he could look, Scully missed Mulder. Everything she did reminded her of Mulder. She missed the way he would tease her about not having a desk, and how he knew that she was originally sent to spy on him.   
  
She even missed his annoying habit of leaving papers strewn all over their office.   
  
Scully was heartbroken.   
  
She hated herself for not realizing that it was Mulder, not her, that had been in danger. she would never forgive herself for letting Mulder go off to the forest again.   
  
That week had been one of the most emotional weeks in her entire lifetime.   
  
That week had been filled with so much pain and grief, yet so much joy and happiness.   
  
She wished that she could go back in time and save Mulder.   
  
Now it was December, and she was all alone. But she wasn't completely alone. After Scully had thrown water in Doggett's face, she had regretted it. Ever since he had saved her life.  
  
She remembered when she had saved Mulder's life. So many times. She remember the thrill she had gotten after she had saved his life. She wondered if Doggett had gotten the same thrill when he had saved her life.  
  
The telephone rang. Scully didn't answer, but let the machine answer it.  
  
"Hi. Scully, this is John Doggett. You probably think I'm insane, and you probably hate me, but I don't feel the same way about you. I was wondering if you would like to go out with me for dinner sometime. If you would give me a call, my number is 555-7625." Click.  
  
Scully stared at the machine. "No!" she thought," I can't believe this is happening!" She felt her heart start to race. "Stop it!" she told herself. "You don't have to act like a teenager anymore." her inner voice protested.   
  
"You know you want to go our with him," her inner voice told her again, "Live a little!"  
  
Scully made her decision.   
  
Picking up the phone, she dialed "555-7625," and waited for the pick up.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hello? Doggett?"  
  
"Scully? Agent Scully?"  
  
"That's my name."  
  
"Okay?"  
  
"Well, I just received your message, and I guess I'll take up your offer."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Really. When and where?"  
  
"Umm. How about tomorrow at five? I'll pick you up."  
  
"Sure. See you then."  
  
"Bye."  
  
"Bye."  
  
Click.  
  
Scully sat there for a long time, thinking about what she had just done. She felt like she was betraying Mulder, but then again, she had already let him go.  
  
She was still unused to the fact that Mulder was gone, but she wouldn't let herself admit that he was dead. Because she knew in her heart that he was alive.  
  
  
Part Two: Chopsticks and Rice Wine  
  
  
It was five thirty, and Scully was beginning to think that committing suicide wasn't such a crazy idea. But then, today was a Sunday, and it wasn't the best idea to perform such a huge sin, especially your last sin, on a Sunday.  
  
Suicide was definitely out of the question.  
  
Doggett had taken her to one of those family-owned Oriental restaurants. Scully wasn't too sure what origin the restaurant was based on, but she knew it was probably a Chinese, Korean or Japanese restaurant.  
  
To her surprise, Doggett had been able to teach her how to use chopsticks, a task she had never been able to accomplish.  
  
The food was very good, and the restaurant was very charming, and Scully probably would have enjoyed a dinner like this, had she been under the right circumstances.  
  
The right circumstances would include a happy Scully whose partner wasn't missing, a Scully who didn't have the guilt of allowing Mulder to go off to the forest, and a Scully who had never met a man named John Doggett.  
  
Presently, Doggett was trying to engage her in some small talk.  
  
"So tell me about yourself. Do you have any sisters or brothers?" he asked.  
  
Scully just glared at him and replied, "Why are you asking me this? You probably already know the answer because you probably read the Bureau files on me."  
  
Doggett looked shocked. "I'm um, I'm, um, terribly sorry to have upset you. I just thought that it would be nice to hear about your family."  
  
Scully restrained herself from rolling her eyes. However, she did raise one eyebrow.   
  
Doggett seemed to be unaffected by the eyebrow that was raised in a questioning way.  
  
He changed the subject.  
  
"So, have you seen any good movies lately?" he asked.  
  
Scully answered his question with a question of her own. "No, I haven't seen a good movie lately, I haven't had the time to see a movie, but how about you?" she responded with a smile.  
  
She had decided to make the best of the evening, as it seemed like Doggett wasn't going anywhere.  
  
Doggett had apparently picked up on her cues, and he changed the subject again. "I don't know whether or not you have a sense of humor, but I heard a joke the other day that I found extremely funny."  
  
"Okay, why don't you give it a go," Scully gave him the go ahead.  
  
"So, there was a chicken. And there was a table." Doggett was smiling.  
  
Scully nodded encouragingly.  
  
"And... and the chicken... the chicken said, 'There's a...'" Doggett was now laughing, "There's a table! Haha! Do you get it?"   
  
Scully had heard the joke before, but she laughed like it was her first time,  
  
Personally, she thought that it was a pretty lame joke, but by judging the way Doggett was turning red, and the tears that were rolling down his cheeks, not everyone shared her opinion.  
  
"Would you like some dessert?" the waiter interrupted their laughing. "We have   
traditional desserts, along with some American favorites." he gave the two agents a smile.   
  
Doggett gave Scully a wink, and asked the waiter for a "Mississippi Mud Pie" dessert, along with some more rice wine.  
  
Turning to Scully, Doggett told her, "Their desserts are huge. We can share one! Also, their Mississippi Mud Pie is great. They put some vodka in the mix, so it's really more "Drunken" mud pie than "Mississippi" mud pie. I'm sure you'll love it."  
  
Scully wasn't too sure how well she would love the mud pie, but she did know that she was beginning to fall in love.   
  
With the rice wine.  
  
Doggett had ordered some before they had started eating. It had a queer sort of   
taste, something that Scully had never experienced before.   
  
Now, with the fermented grain taking its effect on her brain, Scully seemed to be enjoying herself.  
  
Maybe this night wasn't going to be so long after all.   
  
  
Part Three: Russian Meanie?  
  
  
"... so anyways, we were walking through this forest, and then I started singing Joy to the World," giggled Scully.  
  
"Gee, I would have loved to had worked with Mulder..." Doggett commented.  
  
This statement seemed to jerk Scully out of her drunken state. "Don't say that!" she shrieked, "Mulder is still alive!"  
  
Doggett took one step towards Scully to calm her down. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it that way."  
  
After they had gotten out of the restaurant, the two agents had decided to go for a walk so they wouldn't risk a DWI. Actually, it was Doggett's idea, but Scully was so drunk, she had no idea .  
  
"I'm so sorry I shouted at you, It's just..." Scully tried to explain her situation.   
Unfortunately in her drunk stupor, it wasn't very clear.  
  
All Doggett could understand well were the words, "Mr. Mulder, Melissa, Krycek," and "Russian meanie."  
  
Doggett didn't know what to do. He was pretty sure Scully was in no state to stay by herself at her apartment, if he was able to get her to her apartment.  
  
He sighed, and tried to talk to her.  
  
"Scully, I'm gonna take you to my place, because I don't think I can leave you in a state like this."  
  
"Hmmmmmm..." was the mumbled reply.  
  
Doggett got in his car, and drove to his apartment, settling Scully down on his couch before head off to sleep. Man, was he going to have a hangover in the morning.   
  
  
Part Four: Sweet 'Liza Jones...  
  
  
Scully awoke to hear a man's voice singing. She looked around, and noticed that she was still wearing the clothes that she had been wearing the day before. And she was definitely not in her apartment.  
  
She lay back on the couch she had slept on, and tried to remember what she had done the night before that would have landed her in this situation.  
  
...Oh yeah. She had gotten drunk, which would explain why she had a horrible headache. And she had been on a date. She couldn't remember who she had gone out with... Someone from work! Yes! She had gone out with someone from work! But who?  
  
She thought about it for a second, then thought, "MULDER!!!!" but then she remembered that he had been abducted by aliens. Besides, Mulder didn't sing.  
  
So it was someone else. Someone who would take her to his apartment if she had gotten drunk.  
  
"KRYCEK!" she thought, and again she realized she was wrong. If Krycek had taken her out on a date, she would have been dead before they had gotten to the restaurant. Anyways, she didn't work with Krycek.  
  
"Sweet 'Liza Jones..." came the man's voice again.  
  
"I once heard a police officer sing that song when I was little," thought Scully. A   
lightbulb flashed in her head.   
  
DOGGETT. Doggett had been her date last night. And she had gotten embarrassingly drunk. And he had been kind enough to bring her to bring her to his apartment.  
  
Doggett walked out of his bathroom, all dressed for work.  
  
"You're up. That's good. I need to talk to you," he said smiling.  
  
"So do I," she answered.  
  
"Ladies first," he continued, pulling out a kitchen chair for her to sit in. "You start."  
  
  
Part Five: Squashed Bugs  
  
  
Doggett had turned bright red. He hadn't know that Mulder and Scully had been involved in ways outside of work.  
  
After Scully had told him that she didn't think the relationship would work out, her   
exact words had been," I just don't think it would work. I can't help but feel like I'm betraying Mulder, I guess I'm kind of using you as the rebound guy," Doggett felt like he was being squashed like a bug.  
  
A large but that was being squashed by a teeny tiny ant.  
  
"So you wanted to tell me something?" asked Scully.  
  
"Uhhh. Yeah. I did," mumbled Doggett, "I kind of took you our on a dare."   
  
Scully was having a hard time breathing.  
  
"Stay calm," she told herself, "You even said he was the rebound guy." Her inner voice protested. "He still hurt your feelings."  
  
"I'm sorry," whispered Doggett.  
  
"Slap him in the face! Go! GO!" her inner voice encouraged. Scully resisted the urge to slap him in the face, even though she really wanted to, like her voice suggested.  
  
"Handle this like an adult," she thought. Out loud, she said to Doggett, " I do not appreciate being used as a pawn. Good-bye."   
  
Scully gathered up her belongings, and left.  
  
Doggett sat in his apartment, holding his head in his hands.   
  
  
Part Six: Dreamland  
  
  
That night, Scully went home and cried. She knew that she normally wouldn't cry. But she still couldn't help it. She cried because she missed Mulder. She cried because she had wanted Doggett to be Mulder. She cried because Doggett was a jerk. She cried because she was stuck with a jerk for a partner instead of Mulder.  
  
All her sorry, her anger, her desperation and her loneliness had broken down the barriers she had so carefully constructed during her life.  
  
She was so confused. She needed to talk to Mulder.  
  
She cried herself to sleep.  
  
While she slept, she had a dream.  
  
"I'm sorry," someone whispered, "I'm sorry if I hurt you."  
  
"STOP!" she heard herself say. "I don't care! I'm telling! MOM!"  
  
"What is it Dana?" her mother's voice was comforting. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Billy hit me! Hard! It hurts!" she heard herself say again.   
  
"Billy! If you ever hurt you sister again, you will be grounded!" her mother scolded. "And I mean it!"  
  
Scully smiled in her sleep. She remembered that ever since that day, she had been protected by her older brother in an awkward way.  
  
"I'm sorry, but ..." the burly man smiled at her in an evil sort of way, " but there are no girls allowed."  
  
"Excuse me, but I'd like to see my father," an older Dana was talking now.  
  
"CLARKSON!" hollered a man, "Let Ms. Scully in!"  
  
The door was opened.  
  
"Thank you Mr. Alstead. Is my father available?" she asked.  
  
"Go right on in."  
  
As she walked in she heard Mr. Alstead tell Clarkson to, "Drop and give me 90!"  
  
That day had been one of the best days of her life. That was the day she graduated from high school. She remembered her father taking her out for ice cream.  
  
That happy dream let to another dream.  
  
"I'm so sorry Dana. I'm so sorry." her mother's voice tried to comfort her. That had been the day her father had died.   
  
Scully turned over in her sleep, a tear rolling down her cheek.  
  
"I'm sorry. I lost him. I'm sorry..." Skinner's voice jerked her back to that day when she had found out that she was pregnant. And that Mulder had been abducted.  
  
"Mulder!" she cried out in her sleep," Mulder, I need you!"  
  
She woke up from her restless sleep.  
  
The clock read 5:45 AM. She decided to go to work a little earlier than usual that day.  
  
  
Part Seven: Agent Goes Bye-Bye   
  
  
"Agent Scully, I'd like to see you in my office," AD Skinner told Scully over the phone.  
  
Scully walked into Skinner's office to see Doggett sitting there with an attractive petite blonde.  
  
"Scully, John has requested a change of departments. His request has been approved. In the meantime, you will be working with Special Agent Jessica Neiler. That is all." Skinner finished.  
  
Scully was happy, but slightly astonished. "Sir?" she asked.  
  
"I understand your situation. However, I am in no position to try and change it." he replied.  
  
"Yes sir," she turned to leave, realizing that the issue was not open for discussion.  
  
Doggett opened the door for her, and they walked down to their office.  
  
"I'm so sorry about everything. I hope you will forgive me," he pleaded.   
  
Scully resisted the urge to listen to her inner voice and scream her head off at him. Instead, she said, " I forgive you. However, I don't want to talk about it anymore."  
  
"Friends?" asked Doggett, offering her his right hand.  
  
Scully thought a moment and replied, " Maybe," and shook his hand.  
  
Doggett cleared his belongings out of their office in less than an hour.  
  
Within fifteen minutes of his departure, Jessica Neiler walked in.  
  
"I'm sorry for what my brother put you through. He told me all about it. John can be a real jerk sometimes. He requested that I be assigned to you. I hope I can help you." she said quietly.  
  
"Brother?" asked Scully, dumbfounded.  
  
"I'm married," she offered, holding out her left hand. Scully felt a pang of jealousy. Maybe she wasn't as detached from Mulder as she had thought.  
  
"So, let's get to business," the blonde agent continued, "Our first goal is to find Mulder."   
  
Scully looked over at her and smiled. Maybe she wasn't with Mulder right then, but she was determined to find him. And forget about John Doggett. That jerk was history. Today was going to be a good day.  
  
The End  
  



End file.
